The demographics of marriage
Most people marry at least once in their lives; yet today, marriage is less likely to occur at the young ages once seen (e.g., 72% of females and 47% of males between the ages of 20-24 were married in 1960 vs. 34.6% of females and 21.4% of males today)
Alhough people are waiting a little longer to get married, those whose marriages last may expect to be together for a half century or more - with more 1/3 of that time spent by just the two of them together
Half-century marriages are part a product of longer life expectancy and part a product of potential cohort differences - those born in the 20’s - 30’s were not as likely to divorce and therefore may be a very unique group!
Are marriages in later adulthood happy?
Retirement and the empty-nest period can produce some stress in marriage in later adulthood -- however, cross-sectional comparisons suggest that it may be the most satisfying time of the marriage along with being newly wed (U-shaped curve)
Why the decrease in satisfaction? intensification of gender roles with parenthood, children themselves -> greater stress; communication decreases, spontaneity of sexual and social activity is reduced (but seen with childless couples, too and it may be a function of the nesting stage of the relationship - since years 2 and 3 are when most first babies are born).
But it’s not just because the kids are gone (which might reduce stress and allow time to become reacquainted); good marriages have good communication
Happy couples: fewer big fights, express affection - compliments, I love you’s, etc.
Unhappy couples: intense arguments that escalate, negative explanatory styles, more neuroticism (Costa & McCrae’s Big-5).
Similarity is probably the most important factor in choosing a mate - in the Berkeley/Oakland longitudinal study, those who rated themselves as very much alike, were happier 10 years later and reported more consistency in their personalities.
However, more couples than ever before are marrying across ethnic, racial, and religious groups; other potential influences: socioeconomic background and ethnic standards influence decisions about the right age to marry, also one’s income, job security, and attitudes about marriage have effects about how willing one is to commit or enter a relationship. Moreover, aging itself may lead to more harmony in marriage — there may be less focus on trying to get one’s partner to change!
Sternberg’s triarchic view of love
Three components: passion, intimacy, & commitment combine to make several different types of "love." Consummate love involves all three. Companionate love, which is most descriptive of long term marriages, involves keeping intimacy and commitment even as passion itself might fade.
Companionate vs. institutional marriages
The first (about 20% of all marriages) are characterized by liking, respect, and admiration; the second are characterized by a satisfactory working relationship with less strong emotional ties -- satisfaction comes from children and possessions
High satisfaction in middle-aged couples --> dual identities: as individuals and as part of the couple - the latter requires a lot of hard work; not correlated with sexual activity, communication skills, division of power, or problem solving abilities.
SEXUALITY IN OLDER ADULTHOOD
Some generalizations about sexuality in older adulthood:
"People do grow gradually less sexually active as they age, with most men giving up sex as they become old-old."
"People vary greatly in the extent of sexual loss and in its emotional importance."
"Women tend to report less sexual interest and less activity than men."
There are gender differences in age changes associated with sexual activity. One potential explanation for gender differences in sexual activity with age is opportunity; 40% of the married women reported being sexually active in contrast to 4% of women without partners; for men, in contrast, 82% of those who were without a wife were sexually active; sometimes women may compensate by increasing masturbation or by losing interest in sex altogether.
Since health is correlated with sexual activity, the 70’s, where infirmities may become difficult to deal with, seem to be a particularly important time with regard to the continuation of sexual activity.
There are gender differences in age changes associated with sexual desire; in one’s 60’s 3 out of 4 men reported sexual feelings, whereas only 1 in 5 women did.
There are gender differences in age changes associated with sexual responsiveness - we know there is such thing as female menopause and the changes associated with it can affect repsonsiveness. However, Masters and Johnson found evidence that the clitoral response is identical in younger and older women.
Menopause
Menopause is the time at "mid-life" when a woman has her last period. It happens when the ovaries stop releasing eggs. Most often it is a gradual change. Sometimes it happens all at once.
Perimenopause is the gradual period of change leading into menopause. It affects a woman's hormones, body, and feelings. It can be a rocky, stop-start process that takes years. Perimenopause may begin as early as 35. "Climacteric" is another word for the time when a woman passes from the reproductive to non-reproductive years of her life.
As most women approach menopause, their menstrual periods become irregular they happen closer together and/or further apart. Other common signs include:
A woman's experiences during menopause may also be influenced by other life changes:
Whatever the cause or circumstance, the conditions women experience
before and after menopause are very real and sometimes very serious. While
10-15 percent of American women experience no signs of menopause, another
10-15 percent become physically or emotionally disabled for various periods
of time by these conditions.
Many women discover a sense of liberation after menopause. They are eager to say good-bye to premenstrual syndrome, cysts, fibroids, childrearing responsibilities, worries about unintended pregnancy, and the gender-role stereotypes associated with youth! They find they're tough enough to handle gender-role stereotypes associated with age, and they welcome a world in which 50 years of wisdom can guide their lives.
Many others face increased responsibilities and declining health. Instead of being freed of many responsibilities, they inherit the care of aging parents or other family members. Many suffer ill health and reduced financial status and are overwhelmed with the profound losses of those they love.
But on the whole, postmenopausal women are the least likely of all women to be depressed. They have a greater sense of well-being than at any other point in their lives.
Postmenopausal women often become leaders in their families and communities. They can enjoy the pleasures of introspection, rest, heightened career pursuits, or an intensified sense of their sexuality or femininity. They may retreat or they may take up new challenges with restored vigor. Whatever they choose, they are more likely to do what pleases themselves than they are at any other time in their lives.
Is there such thing as a male menopause? Right now, we don’t know, but some suggest there is! Realize that there has been more research into men’s sexuality which has resulted in products like Viagra.
GRANDPARENTING IN LATER ADULTHOOD
Grandparenting roles
one identified role is the family watchdog, they step in when trouble arises - especially helpful when divorce occurs and most so when a daughter is involved (maternal grandparents do seen to be closer to their grandchildren and more involved, etc.).
types of grandparents (based on Neugarten and Weinstein, 1964):
active/fun-seeking/companionate (55%), formal/remote (29%), surrogate parents/involved (16%); African-American grandparents are likely to be classified as involved (27%) and are more likely to discipline rather than joke with the grandchildren -- but their presence is an important coping mechanism in single parent families. In fact, 10% of grandparents report having primary responsibility for a grandchild’s care for at least 6 months.
Several grandparenting styles violate the norm of noninterference, and this can be a source of tension within families.
These "types" may involve more flexibility than is suggested, may also change as a function of the age of the grandchild
For example, in the teen years, exchange of help along with joking, advising, and talking may be more prevalent than "fun-seeking."
Other classifications include: detached, those who see the grandchild < 2X/month (25%); passive, those who see grandchildren a bit more often (30%?); and active, those who have an active role in how a grandchild is raised (45%)
Other factors in the grandparent/grandchild relationship
proximity, compatibility, gender of grandparent, matrifocal orientation
to the family - grandchildren tend to be closer to the maternal grandmother,
so much so that a paternal grandmother must remain close to both her son
and her daughter-in-law in order to have access to the grandchildren (especially
relevant with divorce)