It’s Tough to be a Man (Tora-san)
Along the Edo River
Tora: Cherry trees are blossoming. They remind me of good, old days. They are beautiful
every year. I had a big argument with my dad over something stupid 20 years ago. I
swore I wouldn’t be back here twenty years ago after he hit me in the head and made me bleed. I always remember my hometown in spring. As a kid, I ran around everywhere in town with my friends with runny nose. My younger sister is my only relative left after my parents and smart elder brother passed away. I procrastinated coming back here till today. Standing on the bank of Edo River, I feel warm in my heart. I was born and raised here in Shibamata, Katsushika, Tokyo. I was bathed to clean my body at my birth at Taishakuten Temple. My name is Kuruma Torajiro, but people call me Tora, because I am a journeyman with no stable jobs. I know you can’t get married because of me, my dear sister. I have always tried to be a good older brother with whom you won’t feel embarrassed but always failed. I shed my tears for my failure today again. The Sun will sink like my heart.
Festival in Town
Tora: Excuse me, lady. Excuse me. Hey, let me hold that.
Man1: What?
Tora: Don’t worry. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noises. This is Daikyoji Temple in
Shibamata. Let’s go, let’s go….
Man2: Mr., that man.
Man3: Never seen that guy.
Women1: Who is that?
Women2: Is he from here.
Gosei: He is pretty good.
Tora: Gosei-sama. You must be. Long time no see. It’s me. It’s Tora. A son of Heizo Kuruma, Torajiro, sir. Remember that kid you yelled at where he was trying to catch dragonflies in your garden? I am that rebellious kid, Tora, sir.
Gosei: Oh, I remember you.
Tora: Really? You remember. Thank you very much.
Aunt: Tora-chan! It’s you!
Tora: You! You are still alive! How is Uncle?
Aunt: He is doing well.
Tora: Good. Good.
In the House/Store
Tora: (Talking to Uncle and Aunt) I am back now. Lift your head. Please. Please. I would like to
see your face. Please. It’s been 20 years. My parents and my elder brother must have
given you a lot of trouble when they were alive.
Uncle: No, no, not at all.
Tora: I appreciate your kindness and apologize you for my absence over these years.
Uncle: Thank you very much.
Tora: I don’t know how I can thank you for raising my younger sister. As her elder brother, I
profoundly respect you and deeply appreciate what you did for her. Thank you very
much. Oh, ladies and gentlemen (neighbors) over there, please forgive years of my
foolishness. If we run into each other in the neighborhood from now on, please treat
me like your brother.
Let’s relax now that we’re done with our formal greeting.
Aunt: You’ve grown like a real man. I wish your dad and mom could see you now.
Uncle: Anyway we don’t have great stuff, but let’s start drinking. (Talking to the neighbors)
Oh, excuse me, please get in.
Tora: We don’t have anything special, but please get in. By the way, is she here yet?
Aunt: You mean Sakura-chan? She has to work over-time tonight.
Tora: Oh, yeah? Is she a secretary or something?
Uncle: No! Not at all. She is an accountant.
Tora: Ha? That’s a weird name.
Uncle: Have you heard of a company named the Oriental Electronics?
Tora: Uh-huh.
Uncle: She keeps the accounts on an electric machine.
Tora: Electronic!? Man, that’s got to be a decent job. Electronics is the new technology. I knew what it was. I just forgot it.
This is not a great gift but, put this on. This is an electrical health band that removes all the poisons from your body. Really works well. Put it on.
Aunt: Is this really for me?
Tora: Yeah, of course.
Uncle: This is gold, isn’t it?
Taro: No way. If this was gold, it would cost more than twenty thousand dollars. I’m not making stuff up about this band. You’ll see what I’m saying if you put it on. These dots will clean your veins and improve the blood circulation. You feel better, don’t you?
Aunt: Yeah.
Tora: These will lower your blood pressure and cure neuralgia. They are great for sure.
Please come in and take a look.
Aunt: Hello, Sakura, you are home.
Tora: Sakura!
Sakura: Hello.
Tora: Sakura, are you really Sakura? Come on, it’s me. Don’t you remember my face? No?
Sakura: Um…
Tora: Sakura.
Sakura: Who is this person?
Aunt: Oh, dear, you don’t recognize him?
Tora: Look at me. That’s okay. I left her when she was five or six. Like people say, kids
always grow with or without their parents, man, she’s no exception.
Sakura: Are you my elder brother?
Tora: Yeah, that’s right.
Sakura: You are alive.
Tora: Sakura, I’m sorry I left. I am going to take a piss.
Uncle: The bathroom is this way.
Tora: I know. No worries.
Aunt: I’m happy for you.
In the Backyard
Tora: Don’t cry, my younger sister. Don’t cry…even though we left our hometown when were little.
Aunt: Sakura-chan.
Sakura: Yes.
Aunt: Come over here.
Sakura: Yes.
Aunt: Come here.
Sakura: I will go alone.
Aunt: No way. You can’t do that. The other party will with his whole family.
Sakura: There is nothing else we can do, though. We can’t ask them to change the date just because my uncle has a hangover.
Aunt: But if you go there alone, they are not going to like you.
Sakura: Don’t worry. I wouldn’t mind that.
Aunt: Come on. You have never gotten a better offer before.
Sakura: What are we going to do then?
Aunt: I told him not to drink much last night. He is just brainless and careless.
Tora: What’s going on?
Aunt: Sakura-chan has a meeting with a man for their possible arranged marriage today.
Tora: Sakura is…marrying. Who is that guy?
Uncle: He works at…
Aunt: You shut up, stupid drunk.
Uncle: Don’t yell. That will worsen my headache.
Aunt: Wussy.
Tora: Stop fighting. What does he do?
Aunt:? He sounds very nice. Sakura’s supervisor told us that the CEO of a subcontractor of the Oriental would possibly like to have her as the wife of his son. And he was supposed to go to the meeting with her, but….Sakura-chan is telling me she is going alone.
Sakura: I told you I didn’t like this offer from the beginning.
Tora: Are you saying arrange marriages are a feudalistic idea?
Sakura: What?
Tora: That’s immature to think of them like that.
Uncle: That’s what we are trying to tell her. Tora-san, could you go with her?
Tora: Me?
Uncle: That would be wonderful. In fact, it’s going to be at a hotel. I wouldn’t know how to act in those fancy places. I am afraid I might embarrass Sakura.
Aunt: That would be great. You are real brother.
Sakura: You must be busy today.
Tora: Umm, I don’t really have any plans besides brushing my teeth.
In a Taxi
Taro: Sakura, don’t feel surprised with an English word “Hotel.” They just have elaborate doors.
Sakura: That.
Tora: Oh…WHAT!
In a Hotel Room
Taro: What?
Supervisor: Kuruma-kun, you must be excited your elder brother is back home.
Sakura: Yes.
Supervisor: 20 years, huh.
Mr. Kamakura: What do you do now?
Tora: Me? Well, um, I’m in sales.
Mr. Kamakura: What kinds of sales?
Tora: I sell books.
Mr Kamakura: Are you in the publishing business?
Tora: Well, I publish books on laws and statistics.
Mr. Kamakura: That’s impressive.
Tora: Also, on English, hypnotism, mental tests, crimes….and so on. Don’t worry about my job. It’s so boring.
Supervisor: Please drink for our meeting.
???? Every March, when we have personnel transfers, everyone wants to work with Kuruma-kun. Like everyone wants to see sakura (cherry flowers), everyone wants her when they bloom.
Mr. Kamakura: That is certainly a unique name.
Sakura: Yes, but it is written with a Chinese character on my family register.
Supervisor: Oh yes, that’s right.
Mr. Kamakura: The character for the cherry flowers?
Sakura: Yes.
Tora: Yes, people don’t think Kuruma Sakura is a person’s name when they first hear it. They would be like, “Really, I didn’t know there was such a type of cherry trees called Kuruma.” The character, ‘Sakura’ is really interesting. The word consists of the characters of ‘tree,’ 2 ‘shells’, and ‘women.’ You could read it like, “Women on second floor hang over trees.”
Supervisor: That is very interesting.
Tora: Chinese characters are so fun to use. The character with ‘dead’ and ‘water’ makes that for urine. I call that ‘piss.’ ‘Dead’ and ‘rice’ make that for feces, but I call that ‘shit.’ The most interesting character to me is that ‘dead’ and 2 ’suns’ make that for ‘fart.’ I’ll tell you why this is. It is because farts sound similar to the pronunciation of the character of ‘sun.’
Sakura: Stop.
Tora: Want some beer?
Sakura: No.
Tora: You think this is funny, huh. Oops, this is a little too much. Hey, give me more. See, you must be wondering why a fine lady like my sister can have a screwed-up brother like me, boy.
Son: No, never.
Tora: You must be. We have two different mothers.
Supervisor: Let’s talk about this some other time, sir.
Tora: We have to talk about it now. Otherwise, Sakura would be embarrassed later. My asshole dad was a womanizer. My mother was a lowly geisha. He told me I was a result of drunken sex, I was dumb, and he was never hesitant to smack me. I was so mortified. It was messed up. I wish he had treated me better.
Ms. Kamakura: Excuse me.
Tora: Mom, where you going? To the restroom? Have fun. Have a great time. You wouldn’t want to break your bladder. I’ma go, too.
Sakura: Please behave.
Tora: No worries, no worries. I’ll be back right away. I’m so quick, everyone. This is almost art. I wish I could show how fast I eat and shit. I’ll see you later. Mom, which way did you go?
In the House/Store
Tora: We’re home. It went so well. It was successful because I went, wasn’t it? Good.
Uncle: Sakura.
Sakura: I don’t think so.
Boss: Who the hell is taking a piss on my wall?
Tora: What the hell is wrong with you, son of a bitch? You make so much noise all day long. I got a woman about to get married. Come over here. What the hell? Don’t fucking work all day, poor fuck. Tora: I was born and raised in Shibamata, Katsushika…I am known as a journeyman. I just came back to Great Tokyo for a while. I am determined to work diligently for my only younger sister. I am now asking for your cooperation and willingness to work with me.
At Sakura’s Work
Supervisor: Come in.
Sakura: Hello, sir. I am so sorry for my brother’s misbehavior.
Supervisor: Don’t worry. Have a seat. I imagine it was hard for you.
Sakura: Yes.
Supervisor: Mr. Kamakura was just here. He told me to say hello to you. And….
Sakura: You don’t have to tell me. He declined for certain.
Supervisor: I feel bad for you, but….
Sakura: I understand.
Supervisor: I’m sorry.
Sakura: I don’t mind.
In Downtown
Noboru: Magazines…These are for sales.
Tora: What the hell is that lazy advertising? You are the worst seller ever, Noboru.
Noboru: Where have you been? I looked all over for you.
Tora: I told you to go back to the country and help your parents. You are useless here.
Hey, go ahead and take these, beggars. How are these? Ladies and gentlemen, a major
bookstore threw these books away. They usually cost 600 yen, but we’re selling you
for 300, 200. Forget it, how about 100 yen. Take these. You don’t want them? Go
home. You take them, take them.
In the House/Store
Tora: I am home. My sister here? Yeah, yeah. Follow me this way. I’ll introduce you to my younger sister. Look. She’s fine. You usually wouldn’t even get to talk to her. (Talking to Uncle) This is my man, Noboru. Like you can tell by his looks, I just can’t leave him alone. Take care of him from now on. What? What’s the matter?
Uncle: How can you be so ignorant? Why don’t you apologize to Sakura?
Tora: Why are you so upset?
Uncle: Sakura was turned down the offer.
Tora: Hmm. Lucky you, Sakura. He looked like he was still a little boy. I would have turned him down myself. Ohh, no wonder you were angrily drinking sake like that.
Noboru: Oh.
Tora: That’s right.
Uncle: Knock it off, jerks.
Aunt: Let me tell you. YOU spoiled it. It was a great opportunity for her. Besides having no parents or wealth, she has suffered so much before.
Tora: Cut all the crap and tell me. Are you saying she can’t get married because her brother is a gangster?
Sakura: Enough. I don’t want to think about it.
Tora: Good attitude. YOU asked me to go to the meeting with her. Quit complaining, bitch.
Uncle: That’s unnecessary.
Tora: Chill out, old fart.
Sakura: Watch your mouth. You shouldn’t be disrespectful to them like that. They have been taking good care of us. Apologize to them.
Uncle: Apologize.
Tora: Don’t talk to me that way.
Sakura: You don’t even know what I’ve been going through because of your foul behavior at the meeting.
Uncle: How dare you slap Sakura? Go outside. Out.
Aunt&Sakura: Stop. Stop. Stop.
Tora: What. Damn you.
Aunt and Sakura. Stop. Stop. Stop.
At the Front Door
Uncle: Let go of me. I’m not going to forgive you.
Tora: Let me go. Let me go. No violence. What the hell did I do? Go ahead and smack me if you have the guts.
Uncle: Alright then.
Aunt: Enough is enough.
Uncle: How did you like that? I did not punch you. It was your dead dad who did it.
Tora: My dad’s punch was more painful.
Uncle: Damn you. You have no idea how worried he was when you left the house. I thought he would be so happy when you came back. But he would’ve felt better if you had been dead. Sakura, bring my medicine.
Sakura: What’s wrong?
Aunt: Oh, dear.
Tora: What are you looking at? Is he okay?
Sakura: Uh-huh.
Tora: Give me that. Why are you looking at me like that?
In the House/Store
Aunt: Sakura-chan.
Sakura: Yes.
Aunt: You are going to be late.
Sakura: I know.
Aunt: What are you doing? You’ll be late for work.
Sakura: My brother left again.
Tora(letter): (To Sakura) I am sorry for what I did. I’ll leave the house. Looking at the sky, I’ll pray for your happiness. Please take care of my “brother” Noboru. Good-bye. A farewell speech of your foolish elder brother.
Noboru: There he is.
Sakura: (Calling Tora).
Noboru: Wait up.
Tora: Ignore them. Keep going.
Sakura: (Calling Tora).
Noboru: You can’t leave me again.
Tora: Chief, don’t go back there for them. This is a journeymen’s hard part of life.
Sakura: How come you are leaving us again?
Noboru: Take me with you.
A Month Later
In the House/ Store
Nobaru: Sir, we received express mail.
Uncle: From whom?
Noboru: Dear Everyone. From Tsubouchi Fuyuko
Uncle: Tsubouchi Fuyuko?
Aunt: That’s the daughter of the Gosei-sama.
Uncle: Oh, I see.
Noboru: “How have you been, everyone? I have been in Nara for almost three months
and feeling much better.”
Fuyuko: “I will come back to Tokyo with my father soon.”
In Nara
Fuyuko: By the way, I accidentally ran into someone when I was taking him to sight-seeing.
I was so surprised because he was the last person I imagined I would see there.
Gosei: Why don’t you stand there for a second?
Are you tired?
Fuyuko: No.
Gosei: This place makes me so tired. It’s so crowded.
Caucasian: Tora-san, Tora-san, This is beautiful.
Tora: I know, I know. Shut up. I’m so tired. I haven’t eaten much in
the past couple of the days. I can’t keep up with foreigners who eat stakes every day.
You know what I’m saying, old man? Oh, Gosei-sama, what, what are you
doing here? It’s great to see you. What brought you here? Did you move here?
Gosei: What are YOU doing here? Everyone is worried about you.
Tora: I was giving tours in Kyoto but that family wanted to come here. Excuse me, I
don’t want to spoil your time with a beautiful woman.
Gosei: This is my daughter.
Tora: Kidding?
Gosei: You don’t remember Fuyuko? You used to annoy her, calling her “Big Eyes.”
Tora: Big Eyes!?
Gosei: You remember him, right?
Fuyuko: Of course. You are Tora-chan, aren’t you? You haven’t changed at all.
“He deserted the foreigners and spent time with us all day.”
Tora: Smile. Are you ready? Smile, please. Gosei-sama, please relax your face. We
don’t have pictures of you smiling yet.
Fumiko: (Talking to Gosei) He’s right. Your muscles on your face must be so tight.
Gosei: You guys shut up. I will smile right when you take them. Hurry up.
Tora: Okay, smile.
Gosei: Butter.
Tora: What?
Gosei: Come on. Hurry up. Butter.
Tora: What’s so funny, ma’am?
Fumiko: It’s cheese, not butter.
Tora: Huh? What are you talking about?
Gosei: Stop messing around. Hurry up.
Tora: Yes, right away. Smile.
Gosei: Butter.
At the Inn Entrance
Tora: This is it for me, Gosei-sama.
Gosei: Tora.
Tora: Yes.
Goise: Do you really not want to go back to Shibamata?
Tora: Please forgive me.
Fumiko: How come? I’m sure Sakura would love you back.
Tora: Sakura couldn’t find a husband if I was there. You know that.
Gosei: Well, I can’t force you, but you have to settle down soon. You shouldn’t be
wearing sandals, either. People will laugh at you.
Tora: Thank you very much for your kind advice. Please look after Sakura.
Fuyuko: Okay, but I wish you could come home.
Tora: I will excuse myself now.
Gosei: All right.
Tora: Oh.
Fuyuko: Tora-chan, we’ll be here till nine tomorrow. Give me a call if you change your mind.
Tora: Thank you very much. Bye.
Fuyuko: We will go to Kishu tomorrow morning and might get home the day after tomorrow.
In the House/Store
Sakura: “I’m looking forward to seeing you then.”
Uncle: Why was he there around Nara?
Aunt: I bet he was selling something fake.
Uncle: He’s a real fool. He could help our store here.
Sakura: I think he knows he couldn’t live like us.
Hiroshi: Excuse me.
Sakura: Yes.
Hiroshi: Please give me two hundred yen worth of dumplings.
Sakura: Sure. I will bring them to you.
Hiroshi: Um, Thanks.
Uncle: Hiroshi, why don’t you come in through here? You don’t have to go around the store. Hiroshi: Thank you. Excuse me.
Uncle: Sakura also likes him.
Aunt: I’ve noticed that. If we leave them alone, they might get married after all.
Uncle: I am glad Tora isn’t here. Oh, ma’am.
Fuyuko: Hello.
Aunt: Hello, ma’am. You look so much healthier. We’re talking about you. Please have a
seat.
Uncle: Please. We just received your card.
Fuyuko: Oh really. You guys look good.
Uncle&Aunt: Thank you very much.
Uncle: Is Gosei-sama here as well?
Fuyuko: No, but he told me to say hi to you.
Uncle: Thank you for stopping by. Bring her tea.
Aunt: Yes. Yes.
Uncle: You must be exhausted. So you saw Tora there?
Fuyuko: Yes, by accident.
Uncle: Really. He hasn’t contacted us since he left here a month ago. We were worried.
Was that fool doing well?
Tora: Ma’am, I safely took Gosei-sama and all the baggage home. But he acts like a wimp.
He kept saying his back and legs hurt. (Talking to Uncle and Aunt) Hey, I heard about
you guys from her, but it looks like you guys are doing well. I will stay here for a
couple days. Hey, your cigarettes. This is a gift for you guys.
Fuyuko: All this reminds me of out good old days.
Tora: Yes, everything is old here. Only good thing about the place. Look, people here
are getting old, too. Is Sakura here?
Fuyuko: I’d love to say hi to her. Is she still at work?
Uncle: No, she is here.
Tora: Wonderful.
In the Backyard
Sakura: (Exclaiming at Tora).
Tora: Sakura.
Sakura: You’re back. I heard you saw Fuyuko-san and her father. I missed you.
Tora: I was worried about you guys. I hung out with them for a bit.
Sakura: You came back with them!
Tora: Yeah.
Sakura: Where’s Fuyuko-san?
Tora: She’s inside.
Sakura: In the store? Fumiko-san….
Workers: Great to see you back. Must be thrilled. Sakura-san was thrilled.
Tora: Sakura-san? Dumb-ass. Who do you think you are, hanging out in my property?
Don’t even think of hitting on Sakura. I’m going to have a college graduate marry her.
She’s too precious for lowly workers like you guys. Get the hell out of here. What the hell do you want?
Fuyuko: Tora-chan.
Tora: Yes.
Fuyuko: I’m leaving now.
Tora: I’ll right over there.
At the Front Door
Noboru: (Calling Tora).
Tora: I’ll walk you home. Oh, Noboru, sup? This is for you, ma’am.
Uncle: That’s…. He is so stupid.
Tora: Hey, work hard. What’s up? How’s it going?
Workers’ Room
Workers: Screw him. Damn yakuza.
At the Front Door
Boss: There’s going to be a huge fight. My guys went to the Edo River to fight Tora-san. What are we going to do?
Uncle: We should call the police. Someone might get seriously get hurt.
Boss: You think so? It’s going to be bad.
At the River
Boss: Don’t fight. Think about what you’re getting into. Help me. I can’t get out.
Noboru: My elder brother and your guy need sometime alone.
Boss: Is Hiroshi going to be okay?
Noboru: Stop acting like a pussy.
Worker A: He’ll be alright. He’s a good fighter. He’ll kick that fool’s ass.
Boss: Good.
Workers: For sure.
Tora: What do you want?
Hiroshi: Were you really serious when you said only college graduates would have a chance
with Sakura-san?
Tora: Hell yeah. You got a problem with that?
Hiroshi: Let me ask you then.
Tora: What?
Hiroshi: You got a degree? What would you do if you liked someone, and her elder brother
wouldn’t let you marry her because you never went to college?
Tora: What the hell are you talking about? I like some girl? Her elder brother says what?
Dumb-ass, don’t make shit up.
Hiroshi: If you hypothetically did, you would feel the same way as I did.
Tora: Why would you compare me to you?
Hiroshi: Why?
Tora: Why? You are an idiot. We’re two different people. In other words, you can’t
fart for me when I eat so much potatoes. It’s so simple. Quit thinking logically.
What’s your point?
Hiroshi: Let me ask you, have you been in love before? Please tell me. If you are a man, I’m sure you have. No?
Tora: You are in love with Sakura, huh. Shit, you went around the bush, talking about
women, love, bee’s head, and ant’s balls. Cut all the BS. You want to marry her,
huh.
Hiroshi: Well…I may….
Tora: Hey, is that a no?
Hiroshi: I AM in love with her.
Tora: So what are your intensions?
Hiroshi: As I said, I have no relatives, and I have no degrees….
Tora: Hey, kid, are you saying you can’t get married without a degree? Oh, alright. I get it.
Hiroshi: I was trying to ask you….
Tora: Stop acting like I’m your bother, idiot. Anyway, do whatever you want. We live in a
democratic country. Kiss, cuddle, do whatever. Who cares?
Hiroshi: Okay, sir.
Tora: Okay? You’re going to do them? I don’t know if you can even make her fall in love with your face. I’ll tell you though. Sakura is a confident girl. Are you confident enough?
Hiroshi: I’m not sure.
Tora: What? You just wanted to act tough by bringing me here huh. You are miserable. Do
you want me to teach you?
Hiroshi: Yes, please.
Tora: Don’t be so friendly with me yet.
At the Bar
Tora: In short, use your eyes to make women fall in love with you. But don’t stare at them
from the beginning because they’d think you are retarded. So you look away when they
notice you are looking at them. And then, you start talking to them with your eyes. Look in their eyes. That’ll make them go nuts as if they got electrified.
Hiroshi: Eyes talk?
Tora: Hell yeah. I’ll show you. Look closely. See?
Hiroshi: What did they say?
Tora: What did they say? You’re an idiot. They said, “I love you.”
In a Boat
Fuyuko: What’s wrong? Is something in your eyes?
Tora: Um, no, um, air has been dusty recently.
Fuyuko: Look, behind you. See?
Tora: Mmm? Oops. I didn’t realize it. I thought the boat didn’t move, but let me turn.
Fuyuko: Tora-chan.
Tora: Ma’am, this is not good.