Land of No Monks

(DVD #23 start from beginning)

Characters: Tangsang (T), Zhu Bajie (Z), Su Wu kong (sometimes called Brothr Ho)(Su), Sha Wu jing (S), King (K), Queen (Q), Emissary (E), Monks (6) (M), Princes (3) - Red, Green Yellow, Courtiers (C)

K: “Help me! Someone!”
Q: “What’s wrong? You must have had a bad dream.”
K: “It was terrible! Those hateful monks! They don’t respect the power of the king.”
A: “What’s the matter?”
K: “I hate monks the most. I will drive them out of my country in three days.”
Q: “No! Don’t!”
E: “Common people, here is a command from the King.  No monks can stay in this town. All monks must leave Ehwajo in three days!”
Z, Su, S: “Teacher! Teacher! Come here!”
T: “Why are you so frightened? Why are you like this?”
M1: “Are you going to the West? No, No, you can’t go there. Ehwajo is ahead.  The King just ordered all the monks to be driven away.  So we had to run away in a hurry.”
M2: “Yes, that’s true. If you go west you will be in danger. Let’s go!”
T: “Wu kong, Mount Ling is just ahead, how could this have happened?”
Su: “Don’t worry, let me go into the town and find out.”
Two Travelers: “Let’s stay at this inn.”
Inn Keeper: “Welcome!”
Travelers: “Do you have good rooms available?”
IK: “Yes, this way. You must have come a long way
Traveler: “Inn Keeper, do you have a good room? Bigger?”
IK: “There was dust on your hat. Have you settled them well?  Today’s guests are really a lot.”
IKWife: “I hope none are monks in our inn.”
IK: “It’s impossible.  There are no monks in Ehwajo.”
Su: “Teacher, please wear this”
T: “Wu kong, I have never worn common people’s clothing.”
Su: “Teacher, just put up with it.”
Z: “Don’t I look nice?”
T: “Bajie, It doesn’t fit you. Take it off.”
Z: “I’ve just put it on. It’s nice. I don’t want to change it,”
Su: “Bajie, your ears… Look at Teacher!”
Z: “This hat doesn’t suit you. Change it.”
Su: “Everyone, now, we have to change how we call each other. Teacher is ‘Tang Da Guan.”
Z: “I’m ‘Ju San Guan.’ Sha you are ‘Sha Su Guan.’”
Su: “Call me ‘Ho Er Guan.’”
T: “Wu kong, What’s my name?”
Su: “From now on you are ‘Tang Da Guan.’”
T: “Tang Da Guan.”
Su: “Please ride the horse?”
T: “You said it.”
Su: “Teacher, you said it too.”
S: “Second Brother, you are wrong, too. We are all wrong.”
Su: “Why are all the doors closed? Here is one that is still open.”
T: “Let’s go in.”
IK: “Where are my clothes?  The Great Sage will come here tonight.”
IKW: “Do you want a room in the inn?”
Su: ”Yes, we are businessmen who sell horses.”
T: “Do you still have room?”
IKW: “I have 3 different levels of rooms but now they are all full.  I only have one room left, at the top. If you do not mind you can stay there.”
Su: “No, No, it doesn’t matter as long as we have a room.”
Z: “As long as we have a good dinner.”
IKW: “Follow me, please.”
Z: “It’s cool in this room.”
Su: “Bring us food.”
IKW: “Why don’t you eat fish and meat. Isn’t it delicious? Try this!”
S: “Thank you. Thank you.”
T: “We are used to eating vegetables. You are…working so hard. (Here he uses a special word that means “almsgiver’ which could identify them as Buddhists.)
Su: “We just caught a bad cold. We cannot eat anything oily. Inn keeper, why do the people here hate monks so much?”
IKW: “You are strangers here so I’ll tell you.  The King had a nightmare.”
Su: “How unreasonable!”
Guard: “Look here is another monk.”
Man: “I’m not a monk.”
Guard: “Not a monk? Do you have a bald head?”
Man: “I’m a businessman from another place.”
Guard: “Nonsense!”
Z: “Look! They caught a man with a bald head. This is terrible! They are coming here!”
Guard: “We caught another monk!”
Man: “I’m not a monk. I’m only a businessman from another place.”
Prince (green): “You’re head is hairless. You must be a monk.”
Man: “I just cut my hair.”
IKW: “Your majesty, he’s really a businessman. He’s stayed here at one inn for many days.”
Prince (yellow): “Brother, just release him.”
T: “Wu kong, the guards are coming up, what shall we do?”
Su: “Don’t worry. We should hide in the room.”
Prince (red): “Did you check all the rooms? What about upstairs?”
Guard: “We haven’t yet.”
IKW: “Your majesty, upstairs guests are businessmen from another place, too.  There are no monks in the upstairs only businessmen.”
Prince: “We’d better go upstairs and check.”
Prince (Yellow) “Where are they?”
IKW: “They were here just a minute ago. Where are you?”
Z: “Don’t tickle me.”
Prince: “Someone is in the carpet.”
Prince (yellow) “Check it.”
Prince (red): “The businessman inside, please listen to me. In Ehwajo, we only want to live without monks. No harm will come to businessmen. Please come out.”
IKW: “Oh! I really didn’t know.”
Prince (yellow): “Pull him out!”
Prince (green): “Brother, there is another one in the cabinet!”
Prince (yellow): “I’m in the cabinet. Get me out!”
IKW: “OH! This is very strange,”
Red Prince Enchanter! Sorcerer!

K: “Someone come! My dear Queen! Your hair! You are bald.”
Q: “My hair! I’m bald! You are too!”
K: “Me! I’m bald! Where’s m y hair! Get out!”
Q: “It’s your fault! You got the idea to drive out all he monks. It serves us right!”
Courtiers: “Your majesty.  We greet you.”
K: “Arise.”
C: “Your majesty.”
K: “Why don’t you get up?”
C: “Please forgive us.”
K: “Now all of you just like me?” Why?”
Princes: “Greetings, Father.”
Red P: “What’s wrong? What happened?”
K: “During the night, all the courtiers and I have become bald.”
Green Prince: “Let me see. Take off your hat.”
Red P: ““Your majesty, last night we caught several enchanters.”
Yellow P: “It must be them!”
K: “Bring them! “
Green P: “Bring them! Put it there.”
K: “What are they?”
Red P: “The Enchanters are in the cabinets and jars.”
K: “So many of them!”
Red P: “Look at them.”
Yellow P: “I can’t open it.”
K: “Stop!”
Su: “Everyone! Here I am!”
K: “Who are you?”
Su: I am the Great Sage, come from heaven to earth accompanied by two brothers to escort our teacher to the west to get the scriptures.”
K: “The monk from the Tang? So your brothers and your teacher are all here.”
Su: “Yes.”
K: “Then please let them out.”
Su: “Okay. Everyone out.”
Z: “It’s so stuffy in there.”
S: “Big Brother.”
Z: “It’s so stupid.”
K: “Where is your teacher?”
Su: “If you want my teacher, you should invite him yourself.”
K: “I, myself?”
Princes: “Go away!”
Su: “You have to go there yourself.”
K: “Please, great monk from the Tang. Please come out.”
T: “Amitofo.”
Su: “Teacher.”
T: “Wu-kong, Why do you put me in the cabinet for so long?”
Su: “Teacher, if you came out earlier, it wouldn’t have been good.”
K: “Why are all of you hiding in the cabinets and jars?”

T: “Because in your kingdom, no monks are allowed and we do not want to bring any trouble so we hid.”
K: “I just made the law impulsively and now it serves me right. Just in one night all the courtiers and I have lost our hair.”
Su: “That’s absurd! An absurd king had an absurd dream and gave an absurd order.  I just did an absurd thing to an absurd king.”
Z: “That’s right!”
K: “Was that you who did this?”
Z: “My brother is very powerful. This kind of small this is no big deal for him.”
K: “You are really holy monks. I’m wrong and I will change.  From now on I will not drive monks away.”
T: “Your majesty, please rise.”
Su: “Why have you done this? Who taught you to use your power to do this?”
K: “Holy monk. Thank you for your teaching. But all the people who are in the palace have become bald.  It isn’t fitting.”
T; “Wu-kong, give them back their hair.”
Su: “Don’t worry about it. We hid in the cabinets for a long time. Now it is their turn to be anxious about their fate.”
Princes: “Let’s beg him.  Holy monk, Please make a miracle, restore out parents’ hair!”
T: “Wu-kong, if they know their faults and they try to change that’s good enough. Don’t be too hard on them.”
Princes: “Please have mercy on us.”
Z: “Give them their hair back.”
Su: “ You just need to thank my teacher.”
K: “Thank you, holy monk.  My sons go and clean up all the temples and invite the monks to return.  Please go with me to the garden. I have things to give you to show my thanks.”
Su: “Wait a moment, your majesty! I have to do something first.”
K: “Holy monk, please come this way.”
T: “After you.”
K: “It must be very difficult for you on your journey west.”
T: “Yes.”
K: “You wouldn’t know how hard it is to be a king. Holy monk, please look at this garden.  There is a yellow lion monster a thousand miles away from our kingdom.  He always brings trouble.  My kingdom is small and has few people so we can’t fight it. Tangsang, you go first.  Everyone, please take a seat. Please drink. Your students are very talented. I want my sons to follow your students to learn their skills.  Is it okay?”
T: “Wu-kong, would you like three students?”
Su: “Three? 30 wouldn’t even be a problem!”
Z: “Teacher, to be a teacher is a good thing. You can’t only let Brother Ho be one. Sha-sang and I can also do it.”
Su: “Okay! You three princes, who wants to be my student?”
Princes: “Me!”
T: “The princes know nothing about the skills of my other students.”
Su: “You two demonstrate your talents.”
Z: “You don’t know my skills. I’ll show you what I can do.”
Su: “Sha-sang, you too!”
K: “Good!”
Green P: “My father, King, I used to use the same weapon as Zhu Bajie so I will have this holy monk as my teacher.”
Yellow P: “Father, I would like to have the monk Sha as my teacher.”
K: “Three monks have my three sons as their students. We should celebrate this.”
T: “Amitofo.”
K: “Sons, serve your teachers some wine.”
Su: “Teacher, as your student, I now have my own student.”
T: Teach them well.”
K: “I will ask someone to make weapons like the ones your students use.  What do you think?”
T: “That’s fine. But don’t delay our trip.”
Su: “My teacher is right. We will teach your sons during the day and you can make the weapons at night. Okay?”
Stop at 39

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